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GPs urged to become deeply offensive by the CQC

The CQC is encouraging family doctors to upset patients.

The recommendation comes after a recent review by the body found that there were far too few complaints made by patients to be able to draw any valid conclusions about the complaints procedure.

‘GP practices should do more to welcome concerns from patients,’ said the CQC, before going on to suggest various creative ways to achieve this.

‘If it’s not too busy a day try consulting with your pants wrapped around your ankles, call one of your patients a fat waste of space or, even better, go up to one in the waiting room and punch them hard in the neck.

‘Other options include laughing during a prostate examination, breaking wind while giving bad news and calling a patient a ball-bag.’

‘That’s bound to increase the number of complaints and then we can really analyse what’s going on,’ says the CQC.

Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Aberdeen.