The following apology is brought to you by the Coalition Government:
‘After watching Nick Clegg’s almost sincere apology for university tuition fees we’ve decided to apologise for everything we’ve ever done. And we’re going to start with what’s happening to our health service.
‘Let me begin by saying how very sorry we are. We apologise for saying in our pre-election manifesto that we had no plans to reform the health service. We apologise for then introducing the broadest reforms for a generation and we apologise for having done all of this without a political mandate.
‘We apologise for pursuing revalidation and for creating a poisonous culture of mistrust. We apologise for cuts to your pensions, we apologise for pushing back your retirement age. We apologise for allowing private firms in through the back door to cherry-pick NHS cases.
‘We apologise for creating a noxious media landscape awash with untruths about doctors’ pay and we apologise for nurturing a culture of patient complaint and dissatisfaction.
‘We apologise for all of this. But, like Nick Clegg, we hope that our apology is going to be enough. Because – and I’m sorry to say this – we’re not going to do a damn thing about it.’
Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Aberdeen