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Please just kick me in the balls next time

So, just in the last two weeks, we’ve had:

Rocketing indemnity costs.

Privatised support services screwing up our finances.

Suggestions that practice boundaries should be binned so that registering with a practice should be a free-for-all.

Nursing homes stopping retainer payments.

Breach of contract threats if we fail to submit Friends and Family Test information.

Referral to the GMC for over-prescribing antibiotics.

And so it goes on, and on, and on, and all that with the usual backdrop of intimidation and micromanagement via CQC, revalidation, contract impositions et al.

Planet GP used to be a fairly pleasant environment to work in, but now the atmosphere appears to consist of 99% sh*t, largely because that’s what is constantly being poured over our heads.

So here’s the deal. Can I suggest that we simply agree that all of us GPs should once a year, form a long line and allow a nominated regulator to kick us in the balls*, just to get it over with quickly? It’s what they really want to do, after all. And one hour of testicular pain would be a small price to pay for a year’s worth of arse-ache.

*Or something equivalent for female GPs. This is Equal Opportunities abuse.

Dr Tony Copperfield is a GP in Essex. You can follow him on Twitter @DocCopperfield