This site is intended for health professionals only

Siberia not Center Parcs

Doctors are to be forced into general practice even if they absolutely hate it, declares think tank.

The latest grand idea was unveiled in response to plummeting numbers in general practice and is akin to making prisoners break rocks.

A prominent member of the think tank, Professor Candid, says: ‘We’re not stupid, you know; we know the real solution to this problem lies in making general practice much more appealing for everybody but that simply isn’t practical. Stalin didn’t fill his Gulags by turning them into holiday camps, he just rounded people up and put them on the next train. That’s the kind of courageous leadership we’re talking about: Siberia not Center Parcs.

‘We’d thought about forcing doctors into orange jumpsuits as well but apparently that infringed an individuals right to self-expression whilst doing a job they absolutely f*cking hate!’

To say that general practice is in trouble at the moment is a bit like saying the icy body you certified in the morgue this morning is looking a bit peaky. 

Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Aberdeen.