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Still unsure who to vote for? Try K Hole’s new quiz

If you’re still unsure of who to vote for, keep it simple and try these scenarios:

1 A patient comes to you asking for a long prescription of gabapentin and diazepam because it’s the only thing that helps her back pain. Do you:

a) Tell her that a glass of Chateau Petrus and a Daily Mail should help

b) Offer a shiatsu back massage and a spoonful of mango coolie

c) Tell her that the Burmese rail line wasn’t built on such platitudes

d) Point out that she makes a valid point but she needs some extra regulation and a five-year plan

2 A patient would like a full body scan please because she’s been feeling a bit off-colour of late. Do you:

a) Offer her a firm hand shake and a private referral

b) Hold her hand, stroking the back of it, saying that you’re with her while licking a ripe aubergine

c) Tell her that what we need is a bloody good war

d) Tell her she makes a valid point but needs some extra regulation and a five year plan

If you answered mainly As, you’re a Tory: Bs, you’re a Green; C, UKIP; and D, Labour.

Happy voting!

Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Aberdeen