In an open letter to the Royal College, church leaders have described the revamped e-portfolio as ‘pure evil’.
A clergyman whispering through the grill of a confessional says: ‘At first I wasn’t so sure but now I’m absolutely convinced that the e-portfolio is evil, that it has the power to corrupt human souls and comes straight from the Devil’s ball sack. I’m saying this because I witnessed at first hand what happened to a GP registrar when she was forced to use it. She was young and enthusiastic but after three hours of ticking boxes, making stuff up and reflecting on what, by then, had become her very pointless existence, her head span round and she puked all over me. In all my days I’ve never been so terrified And I’m a Catholic!’
The letter ends with a recommendation that all doctors perform an immediate exorcism by pouring holy water down the air vents of their computer.
Unfortunately, the Royal College wasn’t available for comment, but they have strenuously denied any links with the devil in the past.
Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Aberdeen.