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Time for the GPC and RCGP to get into bed together

It really is time for Maureen Baker to get into bed with Chaand Nagpaul.

OK, stop right there. You do know what a metaphor is, don’t you? That was one, just then. And you know it. So stop your pathetic sniggering.

We have a message here that isn’t just mixed, it’s confused to the point of off-its-legs-incontinent

The thing is, on the one hand we have the LMCs going all militant over the fact that the General Practice Forward View is a steaming plate of cack, though I doubt that’s going to be the actual wording on the ballot papers.

And on the other, we have the RCGP setting up ‘ambassadors’ to make sure this very same steaming plate of cack is promoted on local commissioning boards.

This is perplexing, and not just because, as one Pulse reporter commented, the CCGs are unlikely to be swayed by a box of Ferrero Rocher. The issue is, obviously, that we have a message here that isn’t just mixed, it’s confused to the point of off-its-legs-incontinent.

I know that the GPC is supposed to do the political negotiating while the RCGP is supposed to focus on improving patient care, clinical standards and GP training, but I also realise that there inevitably will be areas of overlap. I know that, but I’m not sure the GPC and RCGP do. If they did, then surely they’d be communicating, with the result that the profession’s response to the GP Forward View wouldn’t be about as co-ordinated as the average cerebellar stroke.

Come on chaps and chapesses. It’s going to be hard enough to mount credible industrial action without being sabotaged by the college’s army of Ferrero-flinging ambassadors.

So Chaand and Maureen, let’s have you singing from the same hymn sheet, please. Yes, that’s another metaphor, but one less likely to make us feel so queasy.

Dr Tony Copperfield is a GP in Essex. You can follow him on Twitter @DocCopperfield