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Using my blogging power to fight for the important issue of trousers

When Pulse first asked me to do this blog six months ago I didn’t really see the point. After all, I thought, who would possibly want to listen to little old me? But soon enough, an interesting pattern began to emerge.

Surely it is time for me to start exercising my new-found powers on the truly important medical issues

I wrote a blog about the pointlessness of appraisal; then I notice a study confirming that ‘the current appraisal and revalidation system in England appears to be contributing to the workforce crisis’ (read all about it in the International Journal of No Shit Sherlock).

Coincidence? Maybe. Then I wrote about seven day working; and suddenly the experts are saying ‘seven-day services cannot be achieved within current funding’ and we await the eventual publication of their findings in the Annals of Well, Duh! Y’Think?

Now, within a week of the appearance of my rant about firearms paperwork, the BMA turn around and advised GPs to stop filling the forms. OK, I’m not saying that I was the only reason for the BMA’s volte-face – that’s for others to say – but if, and frankly there is no other possible explanation for this sequence of events, if my little blog is influencing the zeitgeist in this way, surely it is time for me to start exercising my new-found powers on the truly important medical issues that face us today.

Which brings me to trousers. You might have noticed it’s been a bit hot recently, and like many GPs I work in an office without air con. I’m getting tired of seeing patients breeze through in light summer clothes (‘Ooh, it’s warm in here!’) while my standard-issue-30-something-GP-uniform beige chinos double as a scrotal bain-marie. And with global warming upon us, this can only get worse.

What I’d like to do is go to work in shorts; but a recent high-level study I commissioned suggests this might offend every third patient. (I anticipate comments below like ‘I’ve been happily consulting in a mankini for thirty years and no-one’s complained’ but I have suspicions these will come from the kind of crusty Treebeard colleagues who make Jeremy Corbyn and John McCririck look like Queer Eye For The Straight Guy.)

Well, I’ve had enough. I’m writing this blog in the expectation that within days there’ll be a new Cochrane meta-analysis proving trousers cause zika virus, and the CQC will introduce a mandatory sarong policy. If it doesn’t work, I’m going to try my hand at influencing the world for evil instead. Or maybe just buy a bigger fan. 

Dr Pete Deveson is a GP in Surrey. You can follow him on Twitter @PeteDeveson