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Women ‘taking over the planet’, warn hysterical men

A group of blokes organised a shed-based conference to get all shouty about women taking their jobs. 

Delegates met inside Dave’s ‘man-space’ in order to hear him speak: ‘Comrades! It’s finally happened! Women have taken our jobs, jobs which were traditionally seen as the preserve of men. Even in medicine they now make up more than half the GP workforce. I’m not sure about you, Comrades, but I wouldn’t want a strange woman feeling my testicles using nothing but her warm little hands.’ 

There were murmurs of approval but some of the younger delegates thought it sounded like a nice idea.

 Dave, unperturbed, continued: ‘We must act, Comrades. We must work harder in our schools and in our colleges, we must be more diligent in the work place and we must work tenaciously to improve our communication skills, in other words gentleman, we must beat them at their own game.’ 

At which point there was a small whimper and some of the crowd left to begin the revolution down the pub. 

We managed to interview Colin as he snuck out, coat in hand: ‘When I first got whiff of women taking over the planet I imagined a giantess wearing a mini skirt straddling the M3, but I suspect they’ll just do something sensible like pushing for gender equality in the workplace.

‘Oh well. Such is life.’

Dr Kevin Hinkley is a GP in Aberdeen.