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How to write a Pulse blog and hopefully not get struck off

Through the K Hole


Step 1. Read the Daily Mail (for inspiration not for enjoyment!)

Step 2. Let a deliciously silly idea come into your mind whilst you’re doing something else. You could be doing anything, like blowing on a spoonful of hot soup, clipping your toenails or courageously inflating a balloon to the point of maximal volume for the entertainment of your family. You could even be sorting out your Lionel Richie collection.

Step 3. Buy a Lionel Richie collection if you don’t already have one.

Step 4. Don’t waste any more time. Scribble your silly idea down on to a piece of paper, put it in your pocket and forget about it.

Step 5. See some patients. Patients eh!... We’ve all got them haven’t we!... Patients!! Pah! Who needs 'em. 

Step 6. Accidentally log yourself out of your computer. For some inexplicable reason you’ve got your password wrong three times in a row. It’s the same bloody password as it’s always been! You’ve got the same password for absolutely everything!! You’ve never changed it, it’s always been... oh hang on. Caps lock was on. 

Step 7. Spend 10 minutes listening to the IT desk’s phone music. If only they had Lionel Richie.

Step 8. See some more patients. Patients eh! Bloody patients…hahahahah hahah hah hahahah…..oh dear.

Step 9. This is your moment. The best patient of the day has DNAd so you can get on and write your blog. Hang on where’s that bit of paper gone? I’m sure I put it in my pocket... after rummaging around in your coat for ages you find a receipt for some jam, the burst skin of a balloon and a piece of mystery plastic whose purpose will remain forever unknown. You also find a pocket you never knew you had. 

Step 10. Email your blog to Pulse. Congratulate yourself on once again confronting the unpleasant truth and just hope that nobody dobs you in to the GMC. 

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Readers' comments (6)

  • Vinci Ho

    I remember this:
    Say you, say me say it for always
    That's the way it should be
    Say you, say me say it together
    Naturally

    I had a dream I had an awesome dream
    People in the park playing games in the dark
    And what they played was a masquerade
    And from behind of walls of doubt a voice was crying out

    Say you, say me it for always
    That's the way it should be
    Say you, say me say it together
    Naturally

    As we go down life's lonesome highway
    Seems the hardest thing to do is to find a friend or two
    That helping hand
    Some one who understands
    That when you feel you've lost your way
    You've got some one there to say I'll show you

    Say you, say me it for always
    That's the way it should be
    Say you, say me say it together
    Naturally

    So you think you know the answers, Oh no
    Well the whole world has got you dancing
    That's right, I'm telling you
    It's time to start believing oh yes
    Believing who you are
    You are a shining star

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  • Reading the Daily Mail.....that is sooooo wrong on so many levels.....so long as you lift a copy from the waiting area and haven't contributed financially to it in any way......

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  • Cobblers

    Hehehehe! Tut! Sarah might dob you in. If not Rebecca will.

    Lionel Richie. Brings back the memories when I and the wife were young and a single bed was good enough.

    What's the bed size now you ask? Super King but then I is a lot bigger and I snore.

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  • You might get struck off. But have five stars first, it will be worth it.

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  • You have pockets... our CCG have banned them.

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  • Just Your Average Joe

    GMC referral for reading the Daily Mail.

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