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World renowned physicist Stephen Hawking to be privatised by 2020

Through the K Hole

Health secretary Jeremy Hunt, who got stuck on page 30 of A Brief History of Time, has announced plans to sell off bits of Stephen Hawking to the private sector.

‘He’s a strain on the public purse,’ explained Mr Hunt, ‘especially now that he disagrees with me.’

‘Don’t get me wrong, I know he’s a dead smart scientist and all that, but you can prove anything with maths can’t you!’ he went on. ‘And besides, in my field you don’t need facts and evidence you just need an over-inflated sense of self-worth making dubious decisions on your behalf that would make your Nan cringe.

‘So I’ve made a promise to the British people; once I’ve carved up and sold off their precious NHS I’ll make a start on Stephen.’

Mr Hunt ended by saying: ‘Brian Cox, 40 grand toilet, cost-savings, efficiencies, public purse, wonderful.’

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Readers' comments (1)

  • Vinci Ho

    This is for you , Mr Hunt:
    ''The first principle is that you must not fool yourself – and you are the easiest person to fool.'' Richard Feynman

    Recommend you read about his theory of 'Sum-over- histories' in quantum mechanics. Stephen Hawking also wrote about this in his book Grand Design(2010) ,''
    We create history by our observation, rather than history creating us''
    In simple terms , Mr Hunt , things are not just what they seem. Don't be so shallow and superficial.

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