Who agreed this rubbish?

Copperfield is finding downward pressure on his prescribing painful.

Have you tried reading through the 'Quality and Productivity' bit of the revised QOF? I mean, really read it, as opposed to just skim through enough of it to evoke in you that familiar, 'Oh for ferk's sake' feeling?

Because the more I immerse myself in it, the more I wonder whether those involved were taking mind altering drugs (a joke, obviously. Except is it, though? Because it wouldn't be the first time that government health policy has been informed by those with strangely constricted pupils and strangely formed ideas? But yes, a joke. Although is it? etc)

Anyway, it's unbelievably complex confusing and time consuming . Especially the prescribing stuff, which verges on the impenetrable. Do QP3, 4 and 5 refer to QP1 or 2? Are the three prescribing areas in QP1 the same as those in QP2? Does an understanding of the payment method entitle the reader to an honorary degree in the mathematics of string theory?

Look, I realise prescribing scrutiny was on the cards. But we will still have Medicines Management QoF, don't forget. Plus those Prescribing Incentive Schemes may well continue. And our local PCO is considering a prescribing LES, too. Using my honorary degree in the mathematics of string theory (in the post, I believe), I've worked out that this will involve my practice in around 15 different areas of prescribing 'downward pressure'.

Hang on. We're a traditionally low prescribing practice already, not believing in new fangled concepts like 'drugs'. I barely prescribe 15 different medications total. The idea that I could find 15 therapeutic areas to slash would be hilarious if it wasn't for the fact that it isn't.

Who agreed this rubbish? And why weren't they taking their preventative naloxone?*

*Another joke, obviously. Or is it...

'Sick Notes' by Dr Tony Copperfield is out now, available from Monday Books

Copperfield