Mandatory training I’d volunteer for
If regulators and the powers-that-be are to insist upon mandatory training, Copperfield has a few suggestions that might actually help GPs
Another day, another mandatory training dump. This time, NHSE has decided that generalists aren’t specialist enough to do post-natals properly. Remind me, is that the bit before or after the birth? Whatever, ICBs are to implement ‘additional training’ for GPs on something we’ve been doing perfectly well, thanks, for aeons. Cue reflex indignation and reflex blogs like this about how this is mandatory training gone mandatory.
It’s almost as if the powers-that-be think we are in this business to help and support patients with exemplary practice; rather than to just get through the day in the most stress-free, low-jeopardy and cost-effective way possible.
Mandatory training doesn’t have to be like this. Indeed, a hospital colleague has just thoroughly enjoyed his latest session, which was a morning on self-defence. Who’d have thought you’d need a different technique to take down a belligerent granny versus a drug-addled young psycho? These are useful, relevant, transferable life skills. Oh, and welcome to Essex!
If only our own mandatory training could follow suit. Here, off the top of my head, are a few suggestions:
- Radiator maintenance. This is what gets you that coveted CQC ‘outstanding’ rating. I’m sure that, reading this story, we all got a warm glow. Just like the patient.
- Managing microenvironmental odour challenges. Which air freshener most effectively masks the smell of patients who only wash on their birthday? (Sidebar: why not mandatory training for patients, starting with personal hygiene?). And how do I explain away the smell of alcohol/cannabis without implicating the previous patient or, worse, myself?
- Terminating consultations. It’s difficult ending a relationship, but flagging to a patient that time’s up is even harder. Try ‘It’s not you, it’s me. Goodbye.’ Or a klaxon. Or a trap door.
- How to maintain a neutral facial expression. Even when you’re dying inside. E.g. A patient who tells you that they’re in unbearable pain and getting no help from anyone while simultaneously responding to texts. Or patients who say, ‘Thanks anyway’.
- Explaining away an overlooked referral without actually lying. For example, vague hand gestures that convey an apology while suggesting the fault lies elsewhere.
- Assertiveness training. How to say no in multiple languages: no, nein, non, nie, nem, いいえ etc. Also saves on translation services.
And so on. Feel free to suggest others. Perhaps our regulators could incorporate them into the next iteration of the contract, just as soon as they’ve finished their mandatory training modules on ‘Resolving internecine strife’ and ‘Dialogues with the deaf’.
Dr Tony Copperfield is a GP in Essex
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Levitation! Please can we have Levitation training!!!
The joys! One session a week spent in a hospital providing skin surgery and this is what their “Clinical Governance & Effectiveness Manager” wants me to do. Full retirement just got a lot closer….
1. Equality, Diversity and Human Rights
2. Fire Safety
3. Health, Safety and Welfare
4. Infection Prevention and Control – Level 1
5. Infection Prevention and Control – Level 2
6. Information Governance and Data Security
7. Mindray BeneHeart D1 AED – L1
8. Mindray Beneheart D30 AED – L1
9. Moving and Handling – Level 1
10. Recognising and Managing Anaphylaxis
11. Resuscitation Adults – Level 1
12. Resuscitation Adults – Level 2 Practical
13. Resuscitation Adults – Level 2 Theory
14. Resuscitation Paediatric – Level 2 Practical
15. Safeguarding Adults – Level 2
16. Safeguarding Adults – Level 3 Sessions
17. Safeguarding Children – Level 2
18. The Oliver McGowan Mandatory Training on Learning Disability and Autism
19. The Oliver McGowan Mandatory Training on Learning Disability and Autism Tier 2 (Part B) –
1. Blood – TACO Safety Alert
2. Blood Transfusion – Essential Transfusion Practice
3. Dementia – Tier 1
4. Freedom to Speak Up in Healthcare in England
5. Liquid Nitrogen Dispenser
6. Medical Gases Mental Capacity Act
7. (MCA) – Band 6 and above, SpR and above
8. MUST Screening Tool
9. NEWS2 Acute Care
10. Patient Safety – Essentials of patient safety for all staff
11. Patient Safety – Level 2 Access to practice
12. Promoting safe mobility and minimising harm from falls
• Pretending that the NHS is in any way fit for the purpose of providing healthcare.
Mandatory training certainly was a factor in my retirement!
Stab vest fitting – when locumming in innercity “Dustbin Medical Centre” for patients eg ex-prisoners etc
Applied Zen Buddhism – for surviving old dears who take 10 minutes to enter and remove their coat, children who run around and jump on the scales, late pts with lists, pts who call you “mate”…
Passive-aggressive techniques – eg to subtly slag off the lazy senior partner – “oh, that’s so Dr Sod, hahaha” (through gritted teeth)
Piss detection – handy skill, to avoid sitting in terrier-soaked armchair “sorry Dr, little Lottie must have sat there”.
My journey to try to get CQC registration (just for me to be able to do what I have been doing for years but privately working for myself) as a consultant psychiatrist had the suggestion to add ‘reminding patients to wash their hands before taking medication’ in the infection control policy for my online service.
I think we should just shift mandatory training to include the whole population and be done with it. The whole country can take a week off every year, post education , to undertake it. What do you think?
GPs got deskilled when postnatal care (and funding) was taken off them and given to the midwives in 2005 contract
Now the midwives can’t be bothered to do the work properly – it is being bounced back to the GPs to sort – minus the funding of course
Wow! John Botting that deserves the national press.
Its becoming a major disincentive to continueing work.
How ridiculous and yet seemingly unstoppable.