Managing the juggling act between parenthood and general practice

GPs Dr Katie Amiel and Dr Kate Davies of the Survive and Thrive Collective share their tips on how to balance working as a GP with being a parent or carer

Juggling a demanding medical career and the responsibilities of parenthood can feel overwhelming. The struggle to find balance is real, and you’re not alone. We’ve gathered practical advice from fellow GP parents to help you manage the demands, reduce stress, and find more fulfilment in both your professional and personal life.

Navigating practical and administrative aspects

It is important to understand parental leave. Familiarise yourself with the specifics of your parental leave policy. Whether you’re a trainee, salaried GP, locum or considering partnership, understanding your financial and leave entitlements is a crucial for future planning and managing unexpected challenges.

Being a GP is a great choice when it comes to flexible working. It’s worth exploring options like job-sharing, part-time roles, or the GP retainer scheme, which allows you to work a fixed number of clinical sessions per week.

Many parents find that planning your annual leave well in advance, especially around school holidays, can reduce stress.  It can also help to coordinate with your family or support network as early as possible to make sure you have cover.

While flexibility is important, establishing simple routines for mornings, evenings, or after-school can help to create more predictability and make the chaos feel a bit more manageable.

Where possible, give yourself permission to delegate and outsource tasks where financially and practically possible. That could be hiring a cleaner, using a grocery delivery service, sharing school pick-ups with other parents or accepting help from a friend. This can free up valuable time for family and looking after yourself.

Finding balance and letting go of guilt

It’s easy to feel like you’re not a good enough parent or a good enough doctor. Recognise that this feeling is common and not a reflection of your abilities. In fact, your experience as a parent makes you a more empathetic, efficient, and compassionate doctor. Your children will also benefit from seeing you working in a meaningful career.

Strive for connection with your children and family, rather than perfection. A messy house or a shop-bought birthday cake won’t matter in the long run. What matters most are the simple moments of connection you can share as a family.

Model how to fail successfully! We medics love an acronym, so here’s one that’s useful for us as parents and for teaching to our children: FAIL = First Attempt In Learning! Part of parenting is that we will inevitably get things wrong, forget things or mess up sometimes. Openly talking about this, apologising, discussing what we’ve learned from our mistakes and what we’ll do differently next time can be an important lesson for our children to see in action.

Be realistic and kind to yourself. There will be days when the balance feels impossible. Be especially kind to yourself on those days. Acknowledge the challenges and give yourself grace. You are managing two incredibly demanding roles.

It might be a cliché but it is OK not to be OK. Acknowledging that you’re struggling is a sign of strength, not weakness. Remember that confidential support is available including the NHS Practitioner Health Programme and the BMA counselling service.

Establishing boundaries and a supportive community

As GPs, our work can easily spill into our personal time and it is really useful to set clear boundaries at work and home. While being fully ‘off’ may not always be possible, we can still push for clearer boundaries. This might involve setting specific times to check emails or avoiding work discussions once you get home. Similarly, make sure that your family understands when you need focused time for work.

In the same vein, it can be best to avoid being your child’s doctor. Yes of course you know your child best, and your gut instinct is valuable. However, it’s difficult to objective about our own children’s health. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from another professional when you are concerned, even if it seems small.

The daily shift from being a GP to being a parent can feel relentless. Creating a small transition ritual can help your mind and body make this transition. This could be as simple as taking a few mindful breaths in your car before you go inside, listening to a favourite podcast on your walk home, or changing into comfortable clothes as soon as you get in the door. These moments of transition can help you leave the stress of the day behind and be more present with your family.

Learn to say ‘no’. Setting clear boundaries is essential and it’s OK to say no to extra responsibilities, whether at work or in your community (such as being a class representative or organising the school fair). Prioritise what truly matters to you and your family.

You don’t have to do this alone. Build a community of support both inside and outside of work. This includes a small circle of people – whether family or close friends – who you can rely on for help at short notice, such as when your child is unwell and can’t go to nursery or school. Connect with other parents at your practice and in your local area. Share tips, vent frustrations, and celebrate successes together.

Choose and create a supportive environment at work. When looking for a new role, ask about the practice’s culture. A supportive work environment where colleagues help each other out can make all the difference. In your current role, be that supportive colleague for other parents.

Remembering who you are beyond your roles

Put yourself back in the picture. Beyond your roles as a parent and a doctor, you are a person with your own interests and needs. Invest time in what brings you joy – whether it’s a hobby, creativity, or simply connecting with friends. Carving out this time isn’t selfish; it’s actually essential for your well-being.

Ultimately, finding the balance between being a doctor and a parent is an ongoing journey of learning, helped by a good dose of humour (and occasional swearing)!

By building a supportive community, practicing self-compassion, and prioritising your own wellbeing, you can start to shift from simply surviving the juggle to truly thriving.

Dr Katie Amiel (London) and Dr Kate Davies (Wales) are GPs, certified coaches and co-founders of The Survive and Thrive Collective – an initiative offering a supportive community, expert resources and training, coaching and creative outlets to parents and professionals supporting children/young people facing additional challenges including neurodivergence, SEN, mental health problems and difficulty attending school