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Here’s today’s word-quiz. What prefix works for the suffixes, ‘pise’, ‘pair’, and ‘erve’?

Answer: DES. Appropriate, that. Because, as far as the new DES arrangements go, I despise the paperwork, despair at the complexity - and we deserve far more than the pittance they’re paying.

I say this because I’ve tried to grab the DESs by the horns and I fear I’m coming off second best. Some started back in April, some are kicking off now and some are yet to come. Payments will be provided by NHS England or the CCG or Local Authorities or Public Health England or, and I’m guessing here, no one at all. Each of these has a different set of contacts, predictably all emails rather than phone numbers, and each appears to require us to ‘train up’ to their particular systems, which are all different. Trying to get my head round how we might claim, monitor or chase up what we’re doing/owed has made my eyes bleed. And the documentation is typified by one missive I’ve just opened from our local DES-masters which is ‘useful’ guidance to support the online DES - which is useful, I guess, provided you’re the sort of person who likes guidance to come in 63-page attachments. 

In short, does anyone have a friggin’ clue what is going on, or is this simply a deliberate attempt, as with QOF, to overcomplicate and overload the system to the point that we just give up?

It’s tempting. Because it’s now 1am, I’m still ploughing through emails and documents, and I’ve just  read one which contains the abbreviations SLA, DES, CQRS, PGDs, GPES and N3 in one single sentence, which surely begs the question, WTF? I think I may have to resort to seek and DEStroy.