’Don’t do it to us!’ plead dogs.
A recent study recommending that GPs prescribe dogs to encourage patients to exercise has left dogs all over the UK feeling rather unimpressed.
‘My life as a dog should be simple,’ explains Colin. ‘It should be about walking in the woods, frolicking in the streams and leaping into range rovers full of loving children.
‘It’s not fair that I should be prescribed by a doctor for some dickhead who can’t be bothered to take any exercise. I’m a tail wagging, face licking ball of fun and taking a mooch over to the Spa with someone who smokes too many fags just isn’t going to do it for me.’
‘The idea that a useless human being who chooses not to exercise should be helped by another species is perverse,’ admits one of the researchers, ‘but we had to justify our grant somehow.’
‘Why not prescribe a cat?’ asks Colin. ‘They’re miserable and sleep through most of the day anyway, which in my mind makes them a perfect match.’
dog at ifsec