The Scottish Government has been found lying on the sofa in its pyjamas grazing through a box of Heroes.
‘Look, I like to take things nice and slowly around here, I don’t want to rush into anything that I might later regret,’ it said.
‘I mean, I’m opposed in principle to the pension plan but I haven’t got round to doing anything about it yet because there’s so much good telly on.
‘I’m also dead against the Westminster reforms and I’m pretty sure that something needs to be put in place to cater for Scotland’s ageing population, but I just can’t be arsed getting out of my jim-jams. You can’t really expect me to do anything when I’ve got a box set of CSI Miami to get through!’
It concluded: ‘I would offer you a cup of tea but I’m bang out of milk, you couldn’t pop down the shops for me, could you?’
Every day is a duvet day in the Scottish parliament. But one day the tartan sheets will be pulled back, revealing nothing more than empty wrappers and a nasty smell.
Kevin Hinkey is a GP in Aberdeen