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Medical school offers places to ‘anyone who fancies it’



A London University is going to be offering medical course places to anyone who fancies it in a first for any medical school. 

After places to study medicine at the prestigious university failed to be taken up through ‘clearing’ the university restored to handing them out ‘willy-nilly’ to passers by 

One of those lucky enough to receive a place was Jed, a homeless local celebrity. 

‘I was picking up cigarette butts on my way home when I was handed an offer to study medicine. I was really surprised, I mean up until then I’d had more drugs than hot dinners and I spent most of my days poking around the bins with a stick and decorating the outside of my caravan with fairy lights.’

We caught up with Jed after his first week at medical school: ‘I really don’t get what they’re talking about, g-proteins are a mystery and I have no idea what relevance the Krebs cycle has, but the back seats in the lecture theatre are a great place to sleep off a hangover.’

In many ways Jed is virtually indistinguishable from any other first year medical student although he has promised to totally lose the plot if one more fresher asks him what A levels he did and how many Duke of Edinburgh awards he’s got.