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Newly trained doctors to be tied up and kept in Jeremy Hunt’s basement

‘Newly trained doctors to be tied up and kept in my basement’ says Jeremy Hunt.

‘Medical students train at the tax payers’ expense and it’s the only way we can keep the little bastards in the country,’ says Mr Hunt, ‘We don’t want them running off to Australia where they might be appreciated.’

When it was suggested to Jeremy that the whole tying-up–and-keeping-them-in-the–basement thing must be some kind of dark metaphor he denied it and confirmed that he’d already ordered in a job lot of cable ties and had sunk a well in to the floor of his basement.

Once the junior doctors are imprisoned, Mr Hunt plans to lower a job contract down to them in a basket.

‘It does what it is told. It signs the contract and it puts the contract back into the basket,’ he warned.