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Removing ghost patients is discriminatory, says ghost

Colin was run over by a bus in 1984 and he’s been a ghost ever since.

‘It all happened pretty quickly. One minute I was a successful insurance broker, eating a prawn and mayo sandwich and the next they were scraping my head off the road.’ Colin now faces discrimination on a daily basis.

‘I get it everywhere I go, people pretending they haven’t seen me or freaking out when they do. The other day I was queuing up in Sainsbury’s when the checkout girl spotted me and caused a right scene. Are you telling me she’s never seen a floating butternut squash before?’

To top it all Colin’s practice is going to remove him from the list. ‘This is the final straw,’ says Colin, ‘It’s not easy having a see-through body, especially when you’ve got the sniffles and you’re doomed to wander the streets of Croydon forever more. And now I can’t even get booked in to see my own GP. You lot aren’t making the after-life any easier you know!’