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Top tips to warm your GP colleagues’ hearts this Christmas

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It’s that time of year again. But if you’re not sure what to get your colleague for Secret Santa then try out one of these gift ideas.

1. A giant shredder. Feeling guilty about not reading all of those journals? No I thought not, but if you are, stick these in a great big shredder and forget all about them for another year.

2. A set of bespoke flash cards with helpful phrases on them like, ‘I’m not sure what to do about your fibromyalgia but I really like your hat,’ and ‘That’s quite enough about your twitchy eye lid; do you have anything that needs shredding?’

3. Watch your popularity soar with a hand polished ‘Do not disturb’ sign. If the practice nurse or receptionist knocks on your door simply point to the sign and say, ‘this says please do not disturb’. Watch as they bow to your superior intelligence and apologise for the errors of their ways.

4. The ‘I really am interested in what you’re saying’ face mask. Just snap on this handy latex mask and look interested regardless of your mood. Perfect for that Friday afternoon consultation. Not so perfect if you have a latex allergy.

5. A ready-made appraisal kit, complete with audit, 360 degree feedback forms and a forged certificate from a local educational event. They’re taking the piss out of you so why not take it back.

6. Give your long suffering colleague a glass of wine, a red marker pen and the power to redraw the practice boundary. It will be like all of their Christmases and birthdays rolled into one.