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Toy stethoscope causes Christmas trauma

A GP and mother of two lost the plot after her 5-year-old daughter Olivier unwrapped a plastic doctors set on Christmas day.

‘It was a gift from my aunty,’ explains Olivier, ‘At first, mummy thought it was endearing, watching me all dressed up like a doctor, pretending to be just like her, with my little stethoscope around my neck, but then she had a kind of horrible flashback, which was more like a flash forward to be honest. She imagined the kind of haunted life I’d lead if I followed in her footsteps and she went ballistic. She snatched my little doctor’s bag and smashed it to smithereens. She only calmed down after daddy gave her a great big glass of special juice.

‘Next year I’ll be getting a vet’s bag or some other shit.’