Jeremy Hunt congratulates the flu for shafting the NHS
Through the K Hole
The flu has achieved great things, a slightly envious Jeremy Hunt has admitted.
‘In just a few short weeks this humble virus has transformed the NHS,’ Mr Hunt said.
‘It has flooded waiting rooms with disgruntled patients and forced over-worked GPs to take even more risks, to work even harder and to stay open even longer; in short its brought an already fragile and underfunded system to its knees…
‘I’m impressed. I’ve been trying to do this sort of shit for years!’
Jeremy added: ‘I’m planning to meet the virus in my offices next week and when I do I’m going to give it a big slap on the back and a peerage.
‘It’s hard to imagine that such a primitive organism whose only role in life is to ruthlessly parasite and destroy others is actually going to be sitting in the house of lords… Oh hang on a minute, maybe that’s not too hard to imagine.’
The flu virus, which doesn’t even have a back to slap, was too busy doing what Jeremy wished he could do to comment.
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Readers' comments (4)
Angus Podgorny | GP Partner/Principal10 Jan 2018 8:29am
Thats about right. One parasite to another.
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Vinci Ho | GP Partner/Principal10 Jan 2018 11:07am
Agent Hunt,
It appears that this new chemical weapon H3N2 works out very well for you. Please manufacture more and release them m various parts of England. Time to give a lesson to these b*****d GPs.
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anonymouse3 | Salaried GP10 Jan 2018 11:49am
H3N2 is a free radical, and should be referred to as 'H3N2
H6N2 and H4N2 and H2N2 would be allowed (though less likely), and of course N2 is fine, but odd numbers of H indicate free radicals, which are more reactive and destructive.
How about we fill the houses of parliament with them, to the exclusion of O2?
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Anonymous ex gp | Hospital Doctor11 Jan 2018 10:09am
Great scapegoat for Hunt to blame for all the problems with the NHS
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